I was never the best daughter, to be honest. Being an only child, I was rather spoilt and didn’t appreciate it until I was older, and even then I was still a bit of a daddy’s princess, a title I wear now very fondly. My mum wasn’t able to be my mum most of the time, so my dad took on both roles as well as being my best friend, which most of the time can’t have been easy. Through all the crap I put him through with fallings out with friends or boyfriends and having strops over absolutely nothing, he never faltered in lifting me back up on my feet and telling me to keep pushing forward.
Today is the first anniversary of my dad’s death, and it has been the worst bloody year ever to put it lightly. I’ve had my fiance to pick me up and keep me going but he can only do so much bless him. So today I wanted to post something close to me, so I decided on 10 things I would give anything to be able to tell my dad now.
- I love you. To the moon and back, I love you.
- You were right about pretty much everything from telling me I’ll get out of my teenage angst to telling me I’ve gotten fat.
- I’m going to be a Nurse, and a bloody good one like you wanted for me.
- I’m sorry for every argument I ever started and every hurtful thing I ever said. It was all empty words in the heat of the moment.
- I listen to your favourite song all the time, (Righteous Brothers: Unchained melody) and remember you singing it wrong and terribly. But I’d listen to you forever if I could.
- Your fashion choices were always surprisingly spot on. Even the little beanie hats when you went for walks could only be pulled off by you.
- I’m keeping my promise and taking your ashes back to Chile (He was Chilean), even if I have to pay for the ticket in saved up pennies.
- Thank you for everything you did for me. I didn’t say it much, not much at all in fact, but I mean it with everything I have.
- I’ll lose the weight eventually. Promise.
- Your moustache was the niftiest moustache I have ever seen and probably will ever see.
I don’t know how anyone who’s lost anyone close deals with it. All you can do is deal with it in your own way and take your time, no matter how long that might be.